How We Met
by TheBlackSeaReaper
Summary: A spin off from 'How in the hell did this happen.' Fem!Harry.


**How We Met**

Disclaimer: I own nothing of Bleach or of Harry Potter. I really wished that I did, but sadly I do not. Please enjoy this short one shot.

"Talking"

'_Thinking'_

**(Scene Break)**

Helen was spending most of her nights working on the one branch of magic that she can use during her summer vacation without getting into trouble with the Ministry and that was potions. Just last year, Voldemort or Tommy boy, the name that was given to him by Helen, got his body back with the help of that traitor rat, Wormtail. So due to the nightmares about seeing her fellow student got killed in front of her, Helen spends her nights inventing new potions, mostly of which are for pranks. Helen sends her vials of new potions, complete with notes and directions to the Terror Twins, to test out.

Helen just changed into tight pjs that Hermione got for her for her birthday, when she felt a presence behind her. Spinning around, Helen only caught sight of a grinning clown like being, before she felt a prick in her neck and everything went black.

**(Scene Break)**

Helen was slowly waking up to a very uncomfortable position. Blinking a few times, she looked around and saw that she was not in England anymore and that she was kidnapped.

"How interesting, that serum should have kept you asleep for at least a few more hours," The man, who was holding her, said in a nasally voice. He had one arm around the back of her legs and the other arm around her butt.

Helen growled as she snapped, "I do know what's going on, but you better keep your hands where they are or else!"

"You mean like this, girl," The man snapped back. Helen yelped when she felt him get a very good feel.

Helen decided to use one of Professor Snape's favorite threats, "If you don't take me back to my room right now, I will harvest you for potion ingredients and then I will use the rest of you as my person test subject."

Apparently, he caught the word 'potion' as he exclaimed in his creepy voice, "Potion? You're a witch! How wonderful!"

Even though, Helen could not see the guy's face, she could tell that he was grinning from ear to ear.

Before anything else could be said, the unusual pair entered what looked to be a candy store. The clown like man yelled out in his usual nasally voice, "Kisuke! You better have that room ready! I do not like waiting around, wasting time!"

Helen felt herself being set down on the ground on her feet. She finally got a very good look at her kidnapper. The man had black and white make up on his face, his ears were replaced with some sort of cones, which Helen was sure that they did something, he has the same small beard of a Pharaoh, and his eyes were very dark brown, almost black. Helen could see the intelligence behind those eyes. All in all, Helen was sure that this man would probably is handsome if he did not wear any make up.

Suddenly a blonde haired man with a huge cheerful smile on his face and a stripped colored bucket hat on his head, popped up in front of them out of thin air. He cheerfully exclaimed, "Welcome to Urahara Shoton! I'm Kisuke Urahara. And its very nice to meet you, Helen –chan!"

Helen just stared at Kisuke, before asking, "Nice to meet you too, I guess. But why am I here anyways?"

Kisuke began leading her to the back of the store as he explained in a serious voice how they or rather the Soul Society discovered that someone had committed a forbidden act by ripping his soul into pieces and thus, creating Horcruxes and Helen is one of them.

They were now in a special room and Helen is muttering how she is not surprised that Tommy Boy did this and how she is going to turn the Headmaster into her personal test subject when she gets back. Mayuri is liking this female more and more. After all how can he not like her when she has a mind almost like his?

Kisuke was watching Mayuri out of the corner of his eye. He had to raise an eyebrow when he noticed on how intently that Mayuri seems to be staring at Helen –chan. Hopefully, Mayuri would date Helen as they seemed to be a good couple.

Kisuke cleared his throat catching Mayuri's attention, he said in a semi serious voice, "Apparently, all we have to do is to push her soul out of her body and cut her Chain of Fate."

Helen tilted her head to the side as she asked curiously, "Cutting my Chain of Fate means that you're going to kill me, am I right?"

Mayuri choose to answer this instead of Kisuke, "Of course, that is what it would mead. But in your case, you are already dead and this soul fragment is the only thing binding you to your body."

Helen nodded and said, "Oh that would explain a few things. Well, what are we waiting for, lets get this over with."

Mayuri grabbed a strange glove out of Kisuke's hands and put it on and smacked Helen right between her above average breasts. Helen felt a pushing feeling and suddenly, she was standing behind her body with a long chain coming from her chest and connecting her to her body, but in the middle was a baby with red eyes that is tangle up in her chain.

Kisuke raised his sword and cut the thing, causing it to screech and a large gate with a cross bones on it to appear and a large hand to come out and grabbed the soul fragment and pulled it in before disappearing.

"Everything is done," Kisuke said cheerfully. Everything became too much for Helen to handle and she fainted.

**(Scene Break)**

Helen bolted up and found herself back in her room and in her bed. Helen rubbed her eyes and asked herself, "Was that all a dream?"

Looking around, Helen spotted a package on her desk that was not there before. Slowly, she got up from her bed and walked over to her desk and opened it.

Inside, there was a cell phone and a note saying:

_This is a soul pager and cell phone. It will work around magic. If you find another soul fragment call me and I will deal with it. And also… if you need anything or are bored, give me a text message and I will be there._

_-Mayuri_

'_So it was not a dream, that's good. But now I need to deal with the Headmaster,'_ Helen thought to herself as she took out a special red blank parchment and began writing.

**Omake**

The Headmaster was in an order meeting when Hedwig flew in through a window and dropped a red envelope in front of the Headmaster and left.

Everyone stopped talking at once and wondered why would Helen be sending a Howler to the Headmaster. They watched the Headmaster open the Howler and it began screaming:

"HOW DARE YOU NOT TELL ME ABOUT THE HORCRUX THAT WAS IN MY SCAR!? DID YOU KNOW THAT THE THING COULD TRY AND SCREW AROUND IN MY HEAD, IF HE EVER FOUND OUT ABOUT IT!? ARE YOU TRYING TO GET ME KILL!? WELL, YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT AS ITS ALREADY IN HELL! IF YOU EVER KEEP SOMETHING LIKE THIS FROM ME AGAIN AND IT HAS SOMETHING TO WITH ME, I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE, SO YOU BETTER WATCH YOUR BACK, HEADMASTER!"

The Howler ripped itself to shreds and everyone was staring at the Headmaster in shock.

Professor Snape was the first to speak, "I believe, Headmaster that you owe us an explanation."

Sirius nodded and said, "I can't believe I am agreeing with Snape here, but I am."

Bill looked at his mother who had gone pale, and said, "You know, mom. I rather have you send me a Howler instead of Helen as it will be quieter than hers."

That broke the tense and everyone began laughing as Mrs. Weasley huffed. It was true; Helen is at least three times louder than her in a Howler.

**AN: I hope that you like this one shot. It's a spin off from 'How in the hell did this happen'. Please review and tell me what you all think of it. Have a nice day, everyone. If you are looking for challenges that are not HP/OP crossovers, I and _Peyton-Alice_ have a Forum with different types of challenges, go to our profile and click on the address and then you will be able to find our challenges. **


End file.
